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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Slay holiday dragons during these dark nights

A 34-year-old woman writes about her dating concerns to Thomas Moore at If she tries her first attempts at online dating before the Christmas holidays, she'll feel uncomfortable talking about her religious beliefs during this "heavier" time of year, yet she doesn't want to sit at home alone on New Year’s Eve. Moore suggests to Hold the Holidays:
"... a discussion about belief can be engaging and get a relationship on solid ground. If you're afraid to talk about your spirituality, you might ask yourself just what stops you. What are you afraid of? It would be good to confront this monster now, or it will be a problem in any relationship.

It might also help to talk with friends about the holidays, instead of placing all the weight on your new date. Clearly, you have to sort out your feelings and ideas about your religious background and your current spiritual views. You sense that the combination of a new person in your life and your confusion about spiritual matters are too much to deal with, especially during the holidays. So spread it all out. Get some practice and some clarification with your friends.

Your plan to postpone dating until after the holidays is rooted in fear and worry, never a good basis for any decision. I think you could shift from being a victim of the holidays to being the master of your life. All it takes is some strength and determination to deal with this holiday dragon.

You don't want to be alone during the holidays. That much is clear. So take a deep breath, flex your muscles, and knock off these fears. They're not so serious; they're just annoying. To win this battle will help you during holiday seasons for the rest of your life, and the non-holidays times as well."
Moore tells her to be courageous and not a victim.