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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Clearly express your position to men online

Thomas Moore advises a female reader of Beliefnet to lay her position on the line with Putting the Brakes on Sex Talk when it comes to meeting men online. His response to her concern about men alluding to sex includes,
"Being online is a private space ... Men may say things in that environment that they wouldn't ever bring up in person.

Being online also activates a man's imagination. There's something in male sexuality that likes peeping and watching and fantasizing, and the online dating format encourages that very behavior."
He recommends,
"If this behavior annoys or disappoints you, though, I doubt that joking or changing the subject is going to help. It may be more effective to speak your mind plainly, but not offensively or moralistically. You don't have to wag your finger at him, but just let him know that you are not amused. You don't feel comfortable with excessive sexual innuendoes. You're not a prude, but talk like that turns you off, especially so early in a relationship."
Post your own advice beside Moore’s column.

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