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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The micromanaging dynamic in a relationship

For Beliefnet, Thomas Moore answers a question about working with a micromanager, while weaving a response that applies to other types of relationship as well:
"If your manager is being sadistic, you have to be careful not to lock into his or her pattern by being masochistic - swallowing all your anger and frustration. Know the amount of oversight you can tolerate, and be sure you cultivate opportunities to express your power somewhere to compensate when the pressure from your manager gets too great.

The same dynamics apply in a marriage or romantic partnership. It’s all a matter of attitude: You can accept a degree of control, but as soon as it goes too far, you have to rattle your sword and show that you have your limits and want your own power."
Moore quotes the Tao Te Ching passage about yielding without giving up power, showing how relationships may be vessels for the ripening of soul.