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Saturday, November 25, 2006

What's the right way to end a relationship?

For Beliefnet, Thomas Moore offers a young woman asking how to end a one-year relationship, six rules to follow. These are paraphrased:
1. Remember that ending is not a nice thing. Acknowledge the shadow's role which may contain it's own pleasure.
2. Be clear about the ending before you talk about it.
3. You don’t have to give reasons. Love is not reasonable.
4. Be one part firm to two parts gentle.
5. Let the details take care of themselves. This is the end.
6. Moore's final rule in his own words:
"In spite of rule #5, know that closure is only an ideal. You may always wonder about and even regret this ending. You may dream of this person all your life. Deep down in your soul, endings are only commas, not periods. They aren’t as final as they seem to be in the moment. Allow yourself a lot of contradictory feelings, but don’t let them interfere with the achievement of a good, clear ending. Sharp and neat makes gentle possible."

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